Time to Telecommute?

As gas prices and stress soar, more Emerald coast residents consider working from home

Most folks would agree: The morning commute to work in rush-hour traffic produces a pain specific to the posterior region. Now, with the price of gasoline continuing to climb, workers are feeling it in the pocketbook, too.

And the anguish is spreading.

“People concerned with the effects of gas prices were significantly less attentive on the job, less excited about going to work, less passionate and conscientious and more tense,” according to Florida State University College of Business Professor Wayne Hochwarter, who surveyed more than 800 full-time employees this spring when gas prices hovered at about $3.50 per gallon. “These people also reported more ‘blues’ on the job. Employees were simply unable to detach themselves from the stress caused by escalating gas prices as they walked through the doors at work.”

Looking for some relief? Maybe it’s time to leave the bumper-to-bumper traffic behind and steer your career along the Information Superhighway. If you’re tired of congested roadways, concerned about air quality and fed up with high prices at the pump, telecommuting could be your answer.

The Value of Virtual Venues
Even before fuel costs began to spike, workers and employers around the globe began embracing the telecommuting or “telework” phenomenon. “Telecommuting is second only to ‘casual days’ as the fastest-growing shift in traditional working patterns,” reports the American Telecommuting Association, which defines the practice broadly as “any method for working productively while away from the traditional office.”

In the three decades since the term “telecommute” was first coined, academia, state and federal governmental agencies and countless individuals have sampled and studied the work-at-home option for a broad spectrum of jobs and industries. “One of the most pleasant surprises about telecommuting is that it’s a win-win-win situation for the individual telecommuter, the employer, and society as a whole,” according to the ATA.

Notorious for its red tape and bureaucracy, the U.S. government reportedly has outpaced private employers for years in adopting telecommuting – by as much as a 3-to-1 margin in 2007.

On the state level, fully a decade ago, after conducting two three-year studies, Florida embraced telecommuting as an official option for its employees.

Working from home is a voluntary option for state employees with amenable jobs, says Anna B. Gray, manager of work-force development and benefits in the Florida Department of Management Services’ Division of Resource Management, which oversees the state personnel system. By law, “All agencies have to identify and maintain a list of positions appropriate for telecommuting,” Gray says.

“Initially the focus of the program was in terms of work-and-life-balance issues, and initially it was designed to be a recruitment or retention benefit,” Gray says.

“(Telecommuting) was an alternative work arrangement primarily to meet the needs of employees and to show some flexibility.”

During the most recent legislative session, the state’s program was on the agenda once again, and its mandates were tweaked.

“In today’s world the emphasis, of course, is now on energy savings and gas emissions and energy conservation,” Gray says.

In the earliest days of the state program, the logistics commanded much attention.

“At the very beginning, personal computer technology was still very new,” Gray says, “so there was a lot of emphasis devoted to how to set up a home office, what sort of technology and what type of dial-up technology and additional equipment was needed.”

“Nowadays, it’s so fluid because a good percentage of employees already own personal computers or have wi-fi access,” she says.

Couching a Career
Some of the nation’s most prominent employers have embraced telecommuting – and continue to expand their initiatives. For Elizabeth Beazley Corriveau of Santa Rosa Beach, the office is wherever she boots up her computer.

“I’m a little bit nomadic,” says the Walt Disney Co. scheduling manager, whose home office is 412 miles away from the Magic Kingdom. “I can work in Panera. I can work on my porch … when I look at telecommuting, the technology has advanced so far that your options are truly vast, with broadband connections, wireless cards, cell phones. I think that’s the amazing thing.”

Corriveau loves telecommuting.

“I absolutely do,” she says. “I love the fact that I have a very flexible work schedule. I usually work five hours in the daytime and then a few hours in the evening. I have a lot of reports I do, so that I can do at any time.”

There are challenges, of course.

“You have to be somebody who is extremely well disciplined to work from home, because you don’t have somebody standing over your shoulder,” she says.

“I think, one of the great things about my situation is that is has allowed me to continue to stay with the company even though I don’t specifically live in Orlando,” says Corriveau, who supervises a team of 40 exclusive telecommuters scattered across the country, all of whom apparently wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Life changes, and you may move to a different place, and a lot of the folks who work on my team have had children and have decided to opt out of the full-time work force. My entire team works part time. I actually have zero full-time people,” Corriveau says.

And, she has very little attrition, too.

“The only attrition I have is (when) I promote people … My team is actually one of the largest (at Disney) that is strictly telecommuting,” she says.

Corriveau didn’t start out as a telecommuter. About nine years into her tenure with Disney, she had mainly worked in marketing and public relations in Orlando for Disney Vacation Club and Disney Cruise Lines and a couple years as a recruiter for the Disney College Program.

“We were moving out of state to Washington, D.C., so I left the company,” she says.

Later, Corriveau found out through close business contacts that in its recruitment efforts, Disney was going to start experimenting with interviewing college students by telephone. In September 2005, she rejoined the company and started doing this new work as an Interview Partner.

“That’s when I started telecommuting,” she says. “We actually have all of the candidates’ application on file electronically. I started out doing telephone interviews” and working with scheduling the interviews,” she says.

“We actually just do phone interviews, so we call the candidate and do the interview on the phone with them. For a large percent of our candidates, they don’t interview in person,” Corriveau explains.

Last October, Corriveau was promoted to manager of her Interview Partners team, who she says live as far north as Boston, as far south as Orlando and as far west as Boise, Idaho. After the team conducts phone interviews, they transfer the data directly to Disney’s employment database.

Work Without the Watercooler
Now that she’s a veteran telecommuter, Corriveau has found the transition to telework requires more than a mere change of venue.

“There’s a different type of communication you develop remotely,” she says, noting that her team communicates heavily through e-mail, conference calls and instant messaging.

“There’s a different way of developing relationships because you don’t have that face-to-face interaction, and you’re not able to go down the hall and ask a question,” she says. For instance, facial expressions are “something you forgo and something that you learn to find a way around. Sometimes it is much easier for some people to relate in person than just over the phone or via e-mail.”

The reliance on technology makes effective communication skills all the more important, Corriveau contends.

“You have to be very honest. It’s almost better to over-communicate than under-communicate.”

For all the benefits of telecommuting, there is a downside with computer-based work, Corriveau admits.

“You’ve got to have a really good Internet connection,” she says. “If you don’t, that really puts a crimp in your day.”

Potential Benefits of Telecommuting

• Icreased performance
• Increased productivity (25 percent or more)
• Increased job satisfaction
• Reduced absenteeism
• Lower employee turnover rates (by up to 25 percent)
• Reduced energy consumption
• Reduced demand on our transportation system
• Helps with compliance for the Americans with Disabilities Act
• Empowers employees to operate at their full potential
• Employees have more control of their work environment
• Encourages flexible working hours, and potential savings in time and money
• Reduces the frequency and distance of commuting to work
• Potential savings in utilities, office rental and parking
• Reduces pollution
• Saves energy resources
• In an emergency when employees may not be able to get to the office, work can continue.

Source: “Telecommuting: A Guide for Managers and Employees Considering Telecommuting,” Florida Department of Management Services

The purpose of the mission had been to find a new route to Asia. Although the flotilla sailed down to the mouth of the Delaware River it did not find new passage to the Orient and returned to Denmark. Full story will continue next week.

The thought of eating disorders typically conjures up the image of emaciated women obsessed with being thin at any cost. The truth of the matter is that eating disorders are more common than you may think and don’t always involve people starving themselves.

Even with the recent interest in eating disorders brought to light by the increasing number of super-skinny starlets appearing on red carpets and the covers of magazines, major misconceptions about eating disorders persist. Among those misperceptions are what causes eating disorders, who can be affected and how dangerous an eating disorder can be.

While unhealthy relationships with food and unrealistic body images seem to be at the heart of eating disorders, the reality is that most are physical manifestations of deeper issues. According to the National Eating Disorders Association, eating disorders are caused by an amalgamation of behavioral, emotional, psychological, interpersonal and social issues.

“Many patients I have seen with eating disorders are females who have been abused, neglected or have had a traumatic life experience,” says Megan Putt, a registered and licensed dietician at Sacred Heart Hospital on the Emerald Coast. “They feel that they have lost control in their lives and take that anger and lack of control out on themselves. The weight loss is often viewed as a sense of achievement and self-discipline.”

Women of all shapes and sizes battle eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa and binge eating disorder.

“Many patients battle with more than one type of eating disorder, and many are left untreated or never tell their story,” Putt says. “Only one in 10 people with an eating disorder actually receives treatment.”

In fact, anorexia and bulimia are the most well-known eating disorders, but a national survey released in 2007 in the Medical Journal of Biological Psychiatry showed binge eating disorder as the most prevalent.

According to Putt, a binge eater would be someone who finishes a full dinner, has a piece of cake and then opens a pack of cookies and finishes the bag without being able to stop.

“This type of consumption is similar to an alcoholic who may just plan on having a few beers and ends up drinking the whole case,” she says.

It is true that females are more susceptible to eating disorders than males, but many young men still wrestle with the disease. In the United States, the ratio is about 7 to 1, with 7 million women and 1 million men struggling with eating disorders. Males are more likely to engage in unhealthy eating behavior during preadolescence than at any other age. In some cases, young men are obsessed with gaining weight.

Eating disorders can be incredibly destructive physically, socially and emotionally. Putt says that eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness and that 20 percent of people suffering from anorexia will die from suicide or heart problems.

Each disorder has unique health risks. Anorexia causes the body to slow down and ultimately shut down as it tries to compensate for the nutrients missing from a regular intake of food. Bulimia can result in digestive issues and malfunction of major organs. Binge eating disorder has similar risks to obesity, including issues with blood pressure, cholesterol, heart disease, diabetes and gallbladder disease.

Putt warns that most individuals with an eating disorder are in denial and may resist being confronted. She says the best way to address the situation is to “confront them with your concerns, expressing how much you care about them.”

Parents should be aware of their own eating and diet habits and should be involved in what their children are watching on television, Putt advises.

“Children are so influenced by their surroundings and the mass media, which can alter their perception of what society thinks is ‘normal,’” she says.

To learn more about eating disorders and treatment options, visit nationaleatingdisorders.org. Visit Destin Yoga Classes for help relaxing and gaining back your confidence.

Drive through South Walton County during the first week of May, and you are sure to see white-and-green flags waving in the warm spring air. These high-flying banners herald the coming of ArtsQuest, the Cultural Arts Association’s week-long celebration of all things art.
 

A kickoff concert, shopping tour, fashion show, student exhibit and preview gala all lead up to the ArtsQuest Fine Arts Festival – the pièce de résistance of a week of ArtsQuest festivities leading up to the Mother’s Day weekend show.
 

This year, the ArtsQuest juried show commemorates its 20th anniversary in the Beaches of South Walton, taking place May 10 through 11 in The Village of Baytowne Wharf at Sandestin Golf and Beach Resort. The festival, which started as a community event in Grayton Beach, has grown tremendously over the past two decades, moving from its Grayton home to Eden State Gardens and now to the Village, where it boasts crowds of approximately 10,000.
 

“It is the only event of its kind in this area, and it’s such a great opportunity especially for those who live here to see artists they wouldn’t be exposed to without going to Atlanta, New Orleans or Chicago,” says Jennifer Steele Saunders, ArtsQuest producer. “It’s a great opportunity for the art to come to us.”


Along with wonderful exposure to art of all forms, ArtsQuest gives festival-goers the opportunity to meet new friends, greet old friends and take in the sights and sounds of the charming Village atmosphere – all under the bright Florida sunshine.


A Captivating Canvas
A work of art in its own right, The Village of Baytowne Wharf is in its best light when framed with the creative spirit of diverse artists. The bayside community begins to buzz as more than 100 artists from around the country converge on the open-air events plaza and along the community’s shell-paved streets.
 

“Baytowne Wharf is the perfect backdrop for the annual ArtsQuest Fine Arts Festival,” says Kim Duke-Layden, director of commercial property at Sandestin. “It is naturally picturesque, with pedestrian-friendly streets, ample green space and unique facilities, allowing guests to meander from one side of the Village to the other. There are also plenty of opportunities to stop off at sidewalk cafés for a quick bite or a leisurely lunch, not to mention a refreshing beverage.”
 

The magic happens when the little white tents pop up along the Village streets, and the colors of art and life run together as festival-goers explore the art, interact with the artists, listen to local bands and visit the shops and eateries.
 

“You just have to go to ArtsQuest to know how special it is,” Saunders says. “To hear the music, see the art and eat the food – all of it is just such a wonderful experience.”
 

Tom Rice, owner of the Marlin Grill and an ArtsQuest board member, says it is the small-town, open-air feel of The Village of Baytowne Wharf that makes it the perfect complement to ArtsQuest.
 

“We are a community, and when you put an event in (the Village) and it works, the whole package just comes together,” he says.


Best of Show
While there is a wealth of activity, indoors and out, throughout the venue, the art certainly takes center stage.
 

“We are really trying to embrace and champion the arts,” says ArtsQuest chairwoman Nan Ream. “We have to make sure we are including all artists. We want a diversified group of artists, whether it is jewelry or sculpture or wood or paintings.”
 

A qualified panel of jurors selects the featured artists for the show. Artists working in a variety of formats and from as far away as Chicago and Canton, Ohio, enter the event for a chance to showcase their work and compete for Best of Show.
 

“Of the shows in the area, ArtsQuest is the premier one,” says Connie Nabholz, an award-winning jewelry artist from Pensacola and a participant in the event. “The location is so nice, and the people who put on the show treat the artists so well.”
 

Local Cultural Arts Association members also get a chance to share their creative vision in the collaborative tent. Unlike the rest of the festival, the work in this tent is not juried and is open to any member of the association.
 

Most Cultural Arts Association members would affirm that arts education is at the heart of everything the organization does. In that spirit, the board selects four students from Okaloosa Walton College to exhibit and also hosts a children’s art area with age-appropriate projects.
 

Of the importance of the children’s tent, Ream says, “How else are you going to become a budding artist if you don’t start at places like this?”

Show and Sale
For local merchants and exhibiting artists, ArtsQuest means business. Cultural and economic benefits collide as the restaurants, shops and the artists welcome festival attendees to peruse their art, merchandise and menus in a relaxed, enjoyable environment.
 

“When events like ArtsQuest are done well, planned well and promoted well, it does a tremendous amount of good for Baytowne Wharf and the businesses in it,” Rice says.
 

The artists appreciate the laid-back, festive business environment, too. Denise Choppin, a mixed media/collage artist from Tallahassee, enjoys the opportunity to expose her work to wide variety of people.
 

“It is a benefit to a lot of people who would never set foot into a gallery,” she says. “A gallery can be an intimidating environment where the whole purpose is to sell. While it’s nice to sell, you realize ArtsQuest is both a show and a sale. It lets people stroll in a relaxed atmosphere, and they don’t feel pressured.”
 

Panama City artist Dominique Williams agrees, describing ArtsQuest as a great way to gauge how people respond to her art. Her work is in galleries, but she doesn’t always know who’s buying.
 

“ArtsQuest allows me to get a firsthand reaction,” Williams says. And a positive reaction she has gotten, reporting that ArtsQuest, which Williams has participated in since its days in Grayton Beach, typically is a successful show for her.
 

Set against the lively Village of Baytowne Wharf and staged by individuals who sincerely have a heart for the arts, ArtsQuest in its 20th year promises to be as successful and inspiring as ever.

ArtsQuest Date Book

Sunday, May 4
20th Anniversary Celebration Kickoff Concert
 

Tuesday, May 6
Fine Art of Looking Good Fashion Show
 

Wednesday, May 7
Student Exhibit
 

Thursday, May 8
Champagne Shopping Tour
 

Friday, May 9
Preview Gala
 

Saturday, May 10
ArtsQuest Fine Arts Festival
 

Sunday, May 11
ArtsQuest Fine Arts Festival
 

Visit culturalartsassociation.org for a detailed schedule.

ST. ANN CHURCH HALL

100 Daniel Drive, Gulf Breeze, FL32561

Catered by: KAROLINA’S EURO DELI

Polish sausage, ham, pierogies, cheeses, breads and dessert.

Wine, beer & soft drinks.
 Polish Easter Party in Gulf Breeze FL 32561

  
For Reservations call Karolina @ 850-424-6661(11-6 PM)

Taris Savell
tsavell@pnj.com

Karolina’s Euro Deli, on 101 Hood Drive between Pensacola Boulevard and Old Pensacola Highway, is a new Polish Food and Deli  filled with items not usually available in Pensacola.

Owners Lucas Fenik and Sonia Oczkowska have stocked their deli with Polish, East European, Hungarian and German products.


Fenik, 27, is originally from Poland.
This is a family business,” he said. “Sonia and I will get married in Poland this month, and my sister works in the business, too.”
Fenik moved to the United States in 2000 and discovered that there are many local residents who are hungry for food of this origin. A number of folks here are of Polish or East European descent or moved here from similar ethnic neighborhoods in other areas of the country.
Karolina’s carries a large selection of kielbasa and other sausages, along with hams and cheeses delivered weekly from a Polish deli in Chicago. Other items include Hungarian meats, Polish bread, a large selection of frozen pierogi, dumplings, pickles, sauerkraut, and herring from a barrel or available in jars.

We also have natural fruit and vegetable juices, prepared salads, soups, herbs and Polish and German candy and chocolates. There’s something for Russians, Ukranians, Czechoslovakians and almost every country,” Fenik said.
The 1,500-square-foot Karolina’s is a $100,000 investment for Fenik.
Fenik already has a successful Karolina’s in Destin.
Nobody was brave enough to do this kind of store, but there’s a lot of potential and everyone likes our product,”
Our goal is to have one of these in every Panhandle city, including Mobile and Gulf Shores,” he said.

Hours are Monday through Saturday from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m.

The Northwest Florida Heritage Museum Marks the Anniversary With More Exhibit Space and New Programs

A hundred years ago, the people of Okaloosa and Walton counties scratched a hard-earned living from the pine barrens and bays of Northwest Florida. Since 1971, their story has been actively preserved and passed on to new generations, thanks to the Northwest Florida Heritage Museum.
 
 The Valparaiso-based museum, which actively collects and preserves the culture and socio-economic history of the area, is celebrating its 36th birthday this year by expanding its exhibit space and its public programs.
 
 “It’s really a time to recognize the progress that’s been made in preserving local heritage. And now, with the support of actually the city of Valparaiso and the community, we’re continuing to develop as a place of learning,” said Michelle Severino, museum director.
 

 “We started new programs to celebrate our anniversary here,” she said. “One is called ‘History Sandwiched-In,’ which is a successful lunchtime lecture series on topics related to local and regional history. Another series we started this year is called ‘Hands-On History,’ a series of weekend workshops geared toward children. We have some wonderfully creative workshops for children and families.”
 
 Severino said that in the last few months, the museum’s workers have reconfigured wall usage to make better, more efficient use of existing exhibit space without actually adding on to the museum.
 
 “In the last few months we have expanded space by about 300 square feet, and we may be tripling that by the end of the summer,” she said. “It’s all necessary as well as continuing to develop our educative role.”
 
 And speaking of continuing educational outreach, Severino said the museum is going to provide hundreds of hours of instruction in local and regional history, thanks to some new staff.
 
 “We have a new museum education team, and we hired a museum educator who has experience as an Okaloosa County community educator,” she said. “She’s a teacher, an archaeologist and a Florida native, and her experience will be seen in future education programs.”
 
 Since it opened in 1971, the museum has been collecting and preserving the historical “material culture” of the area, Severino said. The collection goes back to the early 19th century and consists of artifacts, photographs, manuscript materials, textiles, paintings and oral histories.
 
 “We make this history accessible to students, educators and the public through our exhibits, programs and our research library . . . and these are all available for research purposes,” she said.
 
 Severino said the museum is conducting research to add an exhibition about the fishing industry and boat building, and also hosts traveling exhibitions from the Florida State Archives and other regional museums.
 
 The museum, which is located at 115 Westview Ave., is managed by the Heritage Museum Association and is funded by membership dues, donations and grants from Okaloosa County, the city of Valparaiso and the state of Florida.
 
 The museum is open 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday. The research library is open to the public by appointment. 

Twenty-four hours before I Twenty-four hours before I gave birth to my son, I asked my husband to paint my toenails. I hadn’t seen my toes in weeks, but I was pretty sure my pedicure was in bad shape, and since I was scheduled to check in at the hospital the following morning to have my labor induced, I wanted to make sure my toenail polish wasn’t chipped.
Twenty-three hours later … well, let’s just say that the state of my pedicure was the least of my concerns. In fact, you could have cut off my toes and I wouldn’t have noticed.
I had approached childbirth like I approach most things. With enough preparation and organization, I figured, I’d breeze through it. I signed up for Lamaze class. I practically memorized “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” And I carefully crafted a birth plan detailing my plans for a drug-free, natural childbirth up to the very point that my healthy, happy baby would be brought to me to “room in” for the rest of our very short hospital stay.
 

What’s the famous line about “best-laid plans”?
 

My little Billy had a birth plan of his own. A week after my due date, my midwife informed me that after 41 weeks of pregnancy, nothing good happens for the baby.
 

But wait a minute! The first bullet point on my birth plan clearly stated, “I do not want to be induced.” 
 

Scratch that. I was scheduled for induction the following Sunday morning.
 

However, once again, little Billy had his own ideas. Nine hours before my hospital appointment, my labor finally began. I didn’t believe it, and at first, refused to let my husband take me to the hospital. I had an APPOINTMENT; labor was supposed to begin promptly at 6 a.m. – not at 9 p.m. the night before.
 

Cut back to the scene 23 hours later.
 

I couldn’t have cared less if you set my birth plan on fire. After 14 hours of “natural” childbirth, I had demanded every drug the hospital could legally supply me, and threatened the lives of everyone – my husband included – within arm’s reach.
 

I think the only thing we salvaged from our original birth plan was item No. 12: “My husband does not wish to cut the umbilical cord.” David said that the birth of his first child was not the time to try out amateur surgery.
 

And nothing else mattered as soon as my little Billy was finally born. No “plan” could have prepared me to be so overwhelmed. No drug could ease my pain like the sound of his first cry or holding him next to me.
 

I didn’t get to keep Billy in the room with me after all; he had trouble with his intestine and required almost immediate surgery. And we didn’t have a short hospital stay – Billy was in the Newborn Intensive Care Unit (NICU) for a week, a week that taught me what real pain feels like.
 

As David and I hovered next to Billy’s enclosed crib for that week, as they put an IV in his head, doctored the abdominal scar from his surgery and placed electrodes on his chest to monitor his labored breathing and heart rate, I tried to remember why I had ever cared about whether I was allowed to have popsicles during my labor.
 

That week also taught me what real friendship and family mean, as we encountered love and support everywhere we turned. If you ever lose your faith in humanity, spend a week around the doctors and nurses who work in the maternity and pediatric wing. NICU nurses and doctors are as close to angels as we’ll meet on this earth. We owe our child’s health – not to mention our own sanity – to their remarkable care.
 

We’re all home together now. Billy is eating, sleeping (sometimes) and pooping (often!) completely normally.
 

And I can see my toenails again. It turns out that David did a really terrible job of painting them. But it’s hard to imagine that there was ever a time when I gave a second thought to any toes other than the 10 tiny ones that I’m holding in my hand right now.

Many years ago, my father taught me to ride a two-wheeled bike, a brief

rite of passage that brings the first taste of independence and freedom

for many children. When his big, capable hands let go of my tiny green

Schwinn one hot summer day, it was with a mixture of thrill and panic

that I set off on my own, in a way, for the very first time.

However, as the years passed, my father was there pushing, pulling and

paving the way for my adulthood. And while I tested uncharted waters, I

knew that no matter what happened, he would always buoy me, helping me

make crucial decisions.

But as with all of us who are lucky enough to have parents who survive

well into our own adult years, the tide must change and our roles begin

to reverse. At nearly 40 years old, I suddenly found myself taking the

lead, giving the support, providing the care.

For many of my generation from the coastal areas of Louisiana and

Mississippi, the dynamics of our relationships with our parents didn’t

take the naturally slow and methodical course of change – it happened all

at once on Aug. 29, 2006, the day Hurricane Katrina made landfall.

Like tens of thousands of other people, my world shifted on its axis in

the wake of that storm. My parents, who lived on the Louisiana Gulf

coast, suddenly were homeless. And as the reality of losing a lifetime of

possessions set in, in many ways, I became the caretaker.

Several days after the storm, I sat in a cramped motel room with my

mother and father holding both their hands. I had to tell them that my

grandmother had died. My father’s mother, Alice Smith Hutzler, was one of

the more than 40 elderly people abandoned by a New Orleans hospital after

the storm passed and the floodwaters came.

Most who know me would say I do not shy away from the chance to be in

charge. I generally am poised to take the wheel at any given moment. But

in the weeks following the hurricane, while searching for answers to the

location of my grandmother’s remains and worrying about the fate of my

family, I felt ill prepared at best – lost and longing for someone to

help guide me.

I was fortunate to have the support from my husband, Richard, my aunt and

uncle, and many dear friends; however, there were many times when I

wanted so desperately to ask my mother and father what to do, but they

were now relying on me.

Like a willful child, I angrily thought, “This is not fair!” Like an

adult, I said, “We will get through this and be fine.” That internal

conflict was a burden unto itself.

Late one night after the storm, I called my friend of more than 25 years,

David Hansen. He was in the throes of looking for a house for his

parents, who had lived for more than 30 years in the same home until

Katrina. After a few minutes of quiet conversation about the

circumstances, I asked him if he felt the shift, if he recognized the

change. Yes, he said, he had. In that moment, we realized we were not

alone with our newfound roles.

More and more, I saw my contemporaries, people I knew as carefree

children, taking charge of their families as time passed.

A year later, now that some order has been restored and a new routine is

in place, we recognize the privilege it is to care for the very people

who gave us life and raised us. I am glad to carry some of the burden and

try to make the situation a little easier for my parents while coming to

a sort of understanding – I hesitate to call it full-on acceptance – that

they now need to turn to me for direction.

But as those of us affected by the storm move forward – dealing with the

bumblings of bureaucracy, discussing housing plans, trying to make new

memories – I still find myself longing for my dad’s strong hands to

steady the wobbly wheels and set me back on course.